Well, it's like this
by MirkwoodArcher
Summary: Two-Bit get's in trouble, and landds himself in the principal's office. After wreaking havoc in the principal's office, he tries to explain EXACTLY how he got there....


There is this guy in my school who looks almost exactly like Johnny from THE OUTSIDERS movie! Thats what inspired me to write this. Thanks, Kenny. For the record, I havn't said one word to the guy. This is also posted on soupfiction.net in a simpler version. ________________  
  
Two-Bit sat in the principal's office, sulking. He had been roughly pulled down the corridor by the ear by his teacher because he had been wrongly accused of threatening a student with a knife. 'Stupid Soc,' he thought. He always hated the principal's office...too clean for his taste. But this time was different....the princiapl wasn't here. Usually, when Two-Bit walked in Mr. Johnson was there, sitting at his desk, writing on a paper or pretending to be doing something else. But not today. Two-Bit suspected he had to deal with another juvenile delinquent. Two-Bit surveyed the room. He noticed that while he was stuck with the cheap fold-out chair, the principal had been blessed with a padded, cushion chair. Two-Bit, outraged at the treatment of students, abruptly got up and sat in the principal's chair behind the principal's desk. He felt he might like a job as a principal, if he didn't have to fill out forms and spend the rest of his life in school. Suddenly, an idea sprouted in Two-Bit's mind. Be produced a black marker he didn't even know he had from his pocket and proceeded to write 'SAMPLE' and 'REJECTED' all over Mr.Johnson's university diplomas. He took a sticky note pad paper from the principal's deak and wrote 'NOTE TO SELF- SHAMPOO WIG' and stuck it on the bulletin board. He collapsed in the chair and a cloud of dust rose from the impact. After spinning around in the chair got boring, Two-Bit's eyes rested on the P.A system. He'd always wondered what 'P.A' standed for, and when searching the principal's desk didn't provide the answer, he decided it was time for some 'hands-on' reaserch. He grabbed the P.A system, clicked 'ON' and put his feet on the desk. "HEY! Students! This is your principal speaking! The next person to run outside and jump on my car and hoot like an owl will recieve a reward! GO!"  
  
Soon, Two-Bit could hear elusive hooting sounds, and he glanced out the window and saw hundreds of kids (including Ponyboy) jumping on Principal Johnsons car, hooting madly. He opened the window to beter hear the hooting, and cackled madly, putting on his best evil laugh. He noticed a portable radio that the principal had confiscated, and turned it on to 94.9, Energy FM and set it on the window sill. Some of the students started dancing, and soon it looked like there was a riot on the front lawn of the school. Two-Bit was smugly citting on the window still, DJ'ing the radio, when a hand pulled him back and closed the window. "Hey! You just pushed the radio off the sill!" yelled Two-Bit. He saw the radio fall a whole story and smash when it hit the ground. Kids scattered, and one by one, they either left or went back inside, somehow knowing the party was over. Two-Bit turned and saw the principal glaring at him. "What?" asked Two-Bit, as if he was totally innocent, which even he knew was outrageous. He walked over and sat in the principal's seat. Principal Johnson noticed that Two-Bit was sitting in HIS seat, and, without objection, sat in the student's fold-out chair. Two-Bit put his feet on the desk.  
  
"Keith...I am here to straighten you out." he said calmly. He thought of himself as someone who corrected rebellious children. He smiled as he saw Two-Bit wince at his rarely-used but true name.  
  
"I didn't know I was in need of straightening, Mr. J. I won't become crippled until I'm above 70, I imagine" he drawled.  
  
"I hear you were threatening a student with a knife?"  
  
"That's a lie! It's a dirty, filthy lie and I won't take this abuse!" Two- Bit yelled and stood, as if to leave the room. Mr. Johnson made a motion with his hand and Two-Bit angrily sat down, as he knew storming out would lead to more detention time.  
  
"Would you like to tell me what happened?"  
  
"Gladly." Two-Bit took a dramatic pause to recollect his thoughts. "Well, it's like this... I was in science, see? And Mrs. A was droning on like she does, and I got hungry..."  
  
"Isn't science right after lunch for your grade?"  
  
"Yeah! Now let me continue...I got hungry, because I took the wrong lunch, and carrot sticks arn't very filling. So, I take a chocolate bar I find in my pocket and-"  
  
"Wait...where did this chocolate bar come from?"  
  
"Um...Soda gave it to me."  
  
"Soda Pop Curtis dropped out years ago!"  
  
"Right..I knew that. Anyway, I was trying to open it, but I couldn't do it right! So, I take out my switch-blade and-"  
  
"AHAH! THE KNIFE!"  
  
"...and I try to open it, but i knicked my finger and I yelped. This girl beside me must of taken it as some kind of war-cry or something...so she yelled that I was attacking her. Stupid Soc. Then I ended up here."  
  
"I see...well, I guess that explains everything." the principal decided to let Two-Bit off easy this time...it was all part of his plan to turn Two- Bit into a repsctable member of society. "But may I ask what you were doing by the window?"  
  
"Hey! I'm very impatient! I was waiting for like..an hour!"  
  
"15 minutes, actually"  
  
"Close enough"  
  
"I understand, Keith. Once when I was small, I caught a squirrel and ate it because I couldn't wiat for supper. You may go...for now"  
  
Two-Bit was nearly sick at this comment. Then he noticed the P.A system...it was still on! The whol school had heard their conversation! Including the squirrel comment! Two-Bit ran out of the office before collapsing from laughing so hard. The principal heard laughing coming from down the hall, and wondered what was so funny. Then HE noticed the P.A system. He rushed over and turned it off, blushing.  
  
*THE NEXT DAY*  
  
Two-Bit draged his feat as he was directed into the principal's office. He noticed the principal had made sure to take the PA off his deak and was sitting in his proper seat. Two-Bit smirked.  
  
"Alright, Keith, and you tell me why the P.A was on yesterday?"  
  
"Well, it's like this..." 


End file.
